The grass could be greener

Is there anything more middle-class than employing the services of a self-proclaimed lawn technology company so you can look down your nose at your neighbours' scruffy plots? Thanks for the leaflet (complete with graphs and everything) you kindly shoved through our door, GreenThumb, but we won't be inviting your "lawn operatives" around to carry out "hollow-tine aeration" or "post-scarification treatment" any time soon. Now bugger off to pastures new.