My Christmas in numbers

Christmas dinners eaten prior to Christmas Day: 3

Chuckles raised by cracker jokes: 0 (rather fewer than by the Christmas special of Outnumbered)

Pairs of socks received as presents: 1

Slow cookers owned before Christmas: 0

Slow cookers owned after Christmas: 2

Comedy back-jarring falls on black ice: 1

Disappointing Newcastle Utd festive fixtures endured: 2

Hours of post-Christmas sales shopping tolerated: 1

80th birthdays celebrated: 1

New arrivals celebrated: 1 (well, 2, I suppose, if you include that JC chap). Congratulations to Andrew and Kay.