Party poopers

Live in a mansion in a quiet Devon village? Planning an 18th birthday bash? A word of advice: don't get a "shout-out" about the party on Radio 1 or it really will all go Pete Tong.

You have to love the birthday girl's mother, though, for her staggeringly British attitude to the thousands of pounds of damage: "I'm going to write a stiff letter to ask the BBC to review its policy." Because a stiff letter can resolve everything, of course. Perhaps she could write one to those nasty insurgents in Iraq? That might make 'em think twice.

Sarah Ruscoe isn't the only unfortunate person to have their party comprehensively pooped in the last few days. Spare a thought too for East Fife, whose celebrations at winning the Scottish Third Division title were curtailed by jobsworth police officers who confiscated their champagne on health and safety grounds...