Brum undone

Newcastle v Birmingham in the Premier League Asia Cup tournament in Malaysia: our first televised game of the new season, resulting in a not particularly convincing win with goals from messrs Shearer and Ameobi. Although the performance of the team and of individuals is not as important as the fact that it was a good competitive work-out in difficult humid conditions, there were one or two things to note.

Bellamy looked lively, winning the penalty for Shearer's goal having been played through by Bad Boy Bowyer and felled in the area by Kenny Cunningham (who was harshly dismissed), and putting in the cross for Ameobi's headed winner. Dyer also looked full of running, especially in the first half, but worringly again never looked like a real goalscoring threat - if only he could add that to his game... Bramble was also his usual self - a few excellently-timed tackles but one ill-judged lunge at Danny Carter resulting in the penalty equaliser converted by Paul Devlin.

Special mention must go to Stern John for his spectacularly atrocious open goal miss in the second half, and to Griffin and Bad Boy Bowyer for comprising what must surely be the most intellectually-challenged right-sided pairing the beautiful game has ever seen.