Self-gratification

Oh HOW much do I love Will Self. There he was, on 'Newsnight Review', discussing Don DeLillo's new novel 'Cosmopolis' with Mark Lawson, Rosie Boycott and Mark Kermode, beginning a sentence with the words, "Speaking as a practising novelist - which is rather like claiming to speak as a practising onanist..." A fascinating insight into the creative process there, I think. I can just imagine the phone call from Self's publisher Penguin.
Penguin: "Will, we need another novel from you."
Self: "OK, don't worry, I'll just knock one off..."