Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Know Your Enemy

"It's less than half a year since NME ran its R U Onside? cover - featuring Alex Turner, pointing at U, the reader, in a Lord Kitchener manner, beseeching U to help save rock & roll. A cover he earned by dropping a microphone on the floor after making an acceptance speech at the BRIT Awards - apparently the only act of rebellion on offer when you're on TV, flanked by MasterCard ads. The Arctic Monkeys: what an egregious bunch of cock juggling thunder cunts. What a joke. What a terrible fucking joke. As if being in one of the most insipid indie bands ever to be considered front page material wasn't enough, they had to remodel themselves on Alvin Stardust fronting Father Ted's The Three Ages Of Elvis. Tax avoiding, Shakin' Stevens, My Coo-Ca-Choo, Paul Shane, shit-heeled little prannies."

John Doran certainly isn't monkeying around when he lays into the Arctic Monkeys.

The comments appear in this article - nominally about Fat White Family's gig in support of Gaza, but mainly a disquisition bemoaning the contemporary divorce of music and politics (with a digression about Doran's alopecia). Safe to say he'd have supported my case for the defence when I debated the subject with Swiss Toni over on The Art Of Noise back in 2007.

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