Present and correct

Two different Secret Santa presents gratefully received this year, both boasting their own considerable merits.

The first, from work, was a copy of Great Lies To Tell Small Kids, stuffed full with genius fibs to feed the gullible little creatures: "Eggs talk to each other after you shut the fridge door"; "All balloons have a reflection of a window in them even when there is no window nearby"; "All wind is made by wind farms"; "It's unlucky not to name every ant you see for your whole life". With an innocent, impressionable youngster of our own on the way, it could come in very handy.

Equally useful will be the Cliff Richard calendar I ended up with at our annual pre-Christmas party in Cardiff last Saturday. With 2013 nearly upon us, we needed a new calendar for the kitchen and this one has the bonus of pictures of the leathery, asexual, blue rinse pin-up striking a variety of poses, from cool to catalogue to jazz hands on the beach. Jen might have been a bit miffed that I swapped a sushi kit and some soy sauce to get it, but given time I'm sure she'll come round to the idea.