Coffee, scrambled egg and smoked salmon - and spam

One of the many joys of coming back from holiday is discovering you've got a wealth of spam to plough through, both in your email inbox and (in my case) blog comments.

One such comment awaiting approval today concerned a series of five secret gigs sponsored by a well-known beer company (two of which have already taken place), and constituted a plea for coverage in return for free tickets and booze. This kind of offer is something influential taste-making bloggers have to get used to, so needless to say it's a bit of a novelty to me.

Now, I'm not about to give free publicity to the gigs or beer company in question, let alone reveal the secret line-ups for the remaining three gigs (as has been expressly forbidden upon pain of a Chinese burn, or something), but I will divulge a bit of the email.

The first of the five events was held at the Soho Revue Bar in London, "which is an amazing venue actually", and the second at Joshua Brooks in Manchester, which boasts "big leather sofas". At the latter, "The Glimmers smashed it, Unabombers smashed it, and [The] Grandmaster Flash definitely smashed it". As if you weren't already picturing the PR plugger behind all this as one of Nathan Barley's bezzie mates, then you certainly will when I add that his name is Rupert.

Apparently, the information on line-ups for the forthcoming events has only been provided to give "you something to work with when you write your epic post". A bit presumptuous of you, Rupert, don't you think? Toddle off back to Shoreditch now, there's a good chap.