When I am king, you will be first against the wall

#4: Tim Henman

Why?: For being a charmless, snooty, offensively dull mummy's boy and thus a pin-up for Daily Mail readers and symbol of all that is Bad about England.

Imagined famous last words to firing squad: "I've wet myself..." BANG!

(This particular victim was suggested to me by Linda Smith when she appeared on 'Room 101' on Monday night. She described Henman as "the human equivalent of beige". I also wholeheartedly agreed with two of her other choices, brightly-coloured and patterned bow ties (and their wearers) and adults who read the 'Harry Potter' books. Tossers, the lot of 'em.)