Cashing out and crashing out

So it seems that not even a fleeting cameo in the other week's episode of Midsomer Murders could prevent Martine McCutcheon from filing for bankruptcy. Maybe if she'd made it past the opening credits without having her face staved in by a massive wheel of cheese, she might have earned the all-important extra appearance money.

It's not been a good couple of weeks for former EastEnders stars, what with Dean Gaffney having been left with a large facial scar following a car crash. He told the Sun: "I kept thinking, 'Oh my god, my career is my face'". That would be why you've been struggling for work, Dean... Credit to the lone commenter on the Independent's report on the incident, who asked the pertinent question: "How would we know if he had sustained brain damage?"