Know Your Enemy

"They’ve got one song called 'Undress Me Eyes', which is meant to be all raunchy and stuff but we kept reading the title in a broad Yorkshire accent so it was actually about taking someone’s glasses off. The Bourbons’ web page offers you the option of 'being the first person to ask the band a question'. We’ll start with, 'why did you name yourselves after a rubbish type of biscuit?' Maybe followed by 'why are you so fucking shit?'"

Nightshift editor Ronan condemns another band to the Demo Dumper in fine style.

"It truly is a wretched affair, amply demonstrating that the singer really can’t. Sing, that is. It ambles and strums with little soul or conviction, just the feeling there is a noise of some sort coming out of the speakers. One that sounds like the terminal ward of the local vets as it becomes increasingly desperate and overwrought. 'Let it shine, like a star-ee-eye-ee' wails the singer, as he shakes his tambourine like a right fey old fucker and we vow to hunt him down and shove said jingly jangly object up his rectum. At least then he’d have an excuse for sounding in so much pain."

Just two months later, and the Bourbons are back to face the same fate. Gluttons for punishment, obviously.