Death by chocolate (nearly)

Spotted today on a sandwich board for the South Wales Echo:

"PRANKSTERS PAINT HOLIDAY FAMILY'S HOME PINK".

Enough to raise a smile as I walked down Queen Street, but not even the best Echo board of the day - that honour goes to...

"SHOP SELLS MUM 23-YEAR-OLD NOUGAT BAR".

Let's just stop a moment and analyse that one. What I like is the way the information is so densely packed in. The length of time that the bar was out of date is the key detail, but there's plenty more in there. Note that the victim wasn't a "woman" but a "mum" (ie if consumption of said bar proved fatal, children would have been orphaned), and that it was no ordinary common-or-garden chocolate bar, but very specifically one consisting primarily of nougat. Let that be a warning to you if you're thinking of purchasing a nougat bar - check the best before date on it carefully first.

So, two terrific (if not terrifying) headlines. All I can say is that it must have been a very slow news day.