”Sarah Jessica Parker – I mean she’s just, like, so, like, inspiring!”

This weekend I have been subjected against my will to a compilation album entitled Sex And The City: Music From Or Inspired By The Show. This gave rise to a few thoughts:

1. Surely it’s contravening the Trade Description Act to claim that the likes of Daniel Bedingfield and Anastacia were, or have ever been, “inspired” in any way whatsoever.

2. It must also be a contravention of the Act to suggest that Justin Timberlake (for instance) sat down and thought, “I need inspiration. Hmm. Hey, I know what, that episode of ‘Sex And The City’ when they all meet up for lunch and talk about shopping and fucking gives me a little idea…” – and hey presto, ‘Cry Me A River’ was born.

3. The only thing ‘Sex And The City’ inspires in me is nausea and an intense hatred of the greater part of humanity. Much the same effect as Daniel Bedingfield, then.