The late show

Still depressed and / or incredulous about France's last-gasp victory over England? Well, spare a thought for us poor Newcastle fans, who've had to put up with imbecilically conceded late goals all season only to find that the national side have developed the collective concentration span of Titus Bramble ie a couple of minutes less than the duration of the game, during which time our loveable large-arsed plodder seemingly becomes distracted from the game in hand by ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING (sounds, bright colours, movement), thus allowing the opposition to spirit away a point or three. Actually, come to think of it, Bramble should have been playing instead of Heskey - at least he would have made the thoughtless and costly lunge with more style and finesse.