Robson’s wet dream: a clean sheet against Arsenal

And I SO wanted to be able to title this post “Hey (Sir) Bobby, what’s the French for ‘sick as a parrot’?” Taking recent results into consideration, I really thought we had a good chance of ending Arsenal’s unbeaten run in the Premiership this season, but sadly it wasn’t be. At the final whistle it seemed strange to be celebrating a scoreless draw at home, but that was no mean feat given the calibre of the opposition, by some distance the best side in the league.

Things started very brightly indeed, the most notable incident coming after just six minutes when Bellamy scampered into the box to meet a cross from the suspiciously offside Shearer only for Lehmann to pull off a fantastic low save and turn the ball round the post for a corner. As the half progressed, though, Arsenal began to seize control. While Bellamy’s pace and Shearer’s physical presence continued to trouble Campbell and Toure, Robert just couldn’t get into the game and Jenas was running about in midfield doing his usual headless chicken impression and looking like a boy amongst men. It was his mistake on the stroke of half-time that could have handedthe Gunners the lead, but Homer Simpson lookalike Sylvain Wiltord, who’d just returned from a long spell out through injury, steered his shot wide. Doh!

Thankfully half-time came at just the right moment, when Arsenal were in the ascendancy, and we emerged for the second period refocused and reinvigorated. Not only did Robert start to get more involved, but Jenas also began to get a grip with Vieira and Gilberto, putting in a committed and energetic display which went some way to reminding us all of what he’s really capable of. Undisputed man of the match, though, was Woodgate - absolutely magnificent at the heart of the defence, albeit aided by Henry’s lack of va-va-voom on the day. He might not be likely to start against France in Euro 2004 (after his performance against Turkey, John Terry just about deserves to be ahead of him in the England pecking order), but his place on the plane must have been booked by now. Praise also due to his fellow defenders for a second excellent display in succession – the returning O’Brien showed no rustiness and ably assisted Woodgate in the middle, while both full backs made vital interceptions to deny the Gunners goalscoring opportunities. Chances to register a home goal might have been few and far between, but 0-0 was a thoroughly satisfactory result and a useful point.

As has become habit, a few words about the results of those around us. On the plus side, Liverpool and Birmingham lost both their games over the Easter period; but on the down side, Charlton and Villa both picked up four points and Fulham three. We go to Villa on Sunday following the second leg of the UEFA Cup Quarter Final against PSV – over the last few seasons Villa Park's been a very happy hunting ground for us, but our away form and a certain Mr N Solano may yet conspire to make it an afternoon to forget.

If I were to swallow everything the local “newspaper” The Journal tells me, the race for fourth is between ourselves and Liverpool – apparently no other team exists, and as long as we win our game in hand we’re laughing. Well, allow me to be realistic here, but of our six remaining games four are away, and since we haven’t won on the road in the league since October, this is not good news. Although the home match against Wolves shouldn’t really (in theory at least) pose too much of a problem, Chelsea will be a real test. Meanwhile, the four away trips are to close rivals Villa on Sunday, then Man City (where we lost last season), then Southampton (where we invariably lose), then Liverpool (where we invariably lose, often – to the joy of the Sky cameras – by the odd goal in seven scored in the last minute). Suffice to say I’m not as confident about getting that Champions' League spot as Journalists Simon Rushworth and Paul Gilder seem to be.

(Incidentally, in a feature in today’s edition Rushworth, “profiling” Jenas, suggests that the pinheaded midfielder should be picked by England to nullify the threat of Vieira in England’s opening game of Euro 2004. For fuck’s sake man, one swallow does not a summer make. I thought it was your job to watch Newcastle games? You obviously haven’t been particularly observant this season.)