Quote of the day

Following the signing of Mr Bowyer, a speculative projection of how radio commentary on Newcastle might sound next season:

"And now we go over to St. James' Park, where the opening game of season 2003/4 has just kicked off... Given with the ball... short throw to the alleged rapist, who turns it square to the alleged racist... the banned motorist takes possession, finding the drink driver... ball played forward now to the other alleged racist... pull back to the convicted druggie who crosses... Shearer! 1-0!"

(Courtesy of the ever-excellent and 100% unofficial Newcastle website nufc.com)