Nurse! The straightjacket, please!

Oh my god I think I really am cracking up. I found myself watching 'Wipeout' with Bob Monkhouse today - not a particularly uncommon or noteworthy occurence, you might say. But I found his jokes GENUINELY AMUSING. Christ. Sample 'gag': "We had a painter round our house. He spilled a couple of tins of paint and my wife went into hysterics. I would have thought that if you're in his line of work you should have better control of your emulsions". And another: "Popeye's been around for ages. He still enjoys his spinach, but he hasn't been near olives for years". Please, (as Come once sang) shoot me now.