Wednesday, July 06, 2016

Know Your Enemy

"The frontrunner, Theresa May, communicates something horrifying, not through her appearance, but rather her unique expression of unwavering, furious disgust. It is the expression some nameless, pitiless archon will wear 50 years from now as it signs a contract to rent out our city centres to pharmaceutical companies so they can crop-spray viruses and harvest antibodies from any survivors. It is the expression Lucifer wore when the other angels attempted an intervention. Surely May, of all people, could make a positive case for migration just by saying: 'If you can't see the potential of a free-moving workforce, simply imagine how great it would be if I fucked off somewhere else.' Bizarrely, it looks like she'll be involved in a runoff against Andrea Leadsom, who was created by Nazi scientists as a response to Dame Vera Lynn. Michael Gove needs to get 50 signatures, but at the moment he doesn't look like he could persuade his mother to sign him off a cross-country run after a leukaemia diagnosis."

Frankie Boyle (who else?) offers his thoughts on the Tory leadership contest, in a Guardian article published yesterday that is already out of date (with Stephen Crabb and Liam Fox having dropped out of the running).

On a related note, credit to Twitter user Alex Watts for describing Gove as a "haunted pork mannequin". In fairness, no wonder he looks haunted - so would you if you were made of pork and had Cameron licking his lips in your direction.

(Thanks to Mark for the link.)

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