Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Daylight robbery

This story reminded me of similar incidents which befell a couple of friends of mine when they were students in Nottingham and Liverpool respectively.

One afternoon, the first answered the door to a couple of blokes in long brown removal men's coats who said they'd come to collect the cooker. It was only in the late evening, when no new replacement had been forthcoming, that the hungry household rang their landlord - only for their irritation to turn to sheepishness...

The other returned home after a night out to discover a scally stood in his open doorway. "You were being burgled mate", he said, before ambling off. My friend had only just put two and two together and checked that nothing was missing when a familiar smell wafted through from the kitchen. Yes, the brazen would-be tea leaf had decided to stick some oven chips on. Well, I suppose going out on the rob you can work up quite an appetite...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

'you were being burgled,mate'. Well I suppose he can hardly be accused of lying (although he's not exactly telling the whole truth either).

I remember an old one paragraph court report in the Evening Chronicle concerning a chap who had been apprehended on the streets of Benwell in charge of a microwave oven. Asked what he was doing with the appliance he first answered 'microwave, what microwave?'before dropping it behind a hedge. Later he admitted to theft but in mitigation pleaded he had only taken it 'to heat up a pie he had at home'.

Jonathan Crinklybee (I cant get that typekey thing to work..)

Ben said...

What a brilliant plea - hope that got him off the charge.

Or, actually, on second thoughts, maybe not - he shouldn't have been trying to warm a pie in a microwave, it'd go all soggy. Sacrilege. Should have been nicking an oven instead.