Quote of the day

Peter Baynham writing in Saturday's Guardian about the mass August desertion of Britain:

"The other 52 people left in Britain, what are you doing this afternoon? Meet me at 3pm in the beer garden of the Duke of Devonshire in Balham. We can get drunk and slag off everyone who's gone away. Then we'll go and burgle their houses, put animal porn on their computers, fill their Espaces with concrete. We'll invent ridiculous, almost believable news stories to tell them they missed while away: Prince Andrew was caught shoplifting; Shergar's bones were found in Ronnie Corbett's house; Jamie Cullum was decapitated by his father. When the others get back, all tanned and full of tedious stories about their lovely, crumbling gîte, we can cut them dead by telling them that Patrick Moore came out as bi."

I was near Balham on Saturday - just a shame I hadn't read the article at that point, and missed out on the chance to see if he really did turn up. I can't think of a better way to spend a sunny summer's day than filling Espaces with concrete in the company of Peter Baynham. The man's a genius.

(Thanks to Tobi and He Who Cannot Be Named for the link.)