Quote of the day

"I said, 'Acer, these girls are all asking for a peck. But how many of them have got the clap, herpes, been around a bit?' So what he did, which is what he's always done, is all the ones that were quite tasty, he told them: 'No, sorry darling, no kisses, no kisses'. And every time the really minging one with flapjack on her lip, who obviously had herpes, came up, he said: 'Give her a kiss Jamie, go on, give her a kiss'. And he'd make me kiss her."

Welcome to the world of charming ladies' man Jamie Oliver, recalling conversations with his security guard at book signings.

Perhaps worth recording here that I managed to make it all the way through last week's episode of 'Jamie's Ministry Of Food' and actually quite enjoyed it, despite the onscreen presence of the fat-tongued twat.