'There's A Guy Fitting My Friend's Mum's New Shower Room Swears He's Craig David's Dad'

... as Kirsty MacColl didn't sing.

From an email from mother to daughter: "The shower room is costing a fortune and seems to be progressing quite slowly. Have you heard of a pop star called Craig David? The guy doing much of the work is his dad. He tells us he has bought him a pension".

To not have heard of Craig David - ah, ignorance would be bliss. Anyway, so now you know what he's spent the ill-gotten gains from such songs as '7 Days' and 'Walking Away' on.