Missives from the front line

Texts received from a friend who had the pleasure / misfortune to attend the Reading festival:

"Sub-aqua gear would've been a great idea. We came in by boat, no joke."

In response to my reply which warned him against getting trenchfoot:

"The mud is so deep it'll be trenchcock instead."

At least Kenny made it back in one piece, hopefully without any serious bodily afflictions. Your review of the weekend is eagerly awaited, sir.

Update: Kenny duly obliges, and it's Mozzer who came from nowhere to steal the show.