"The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM."
"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."
"It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools."
Just three examples of Washington Post readers' attempts to submit purposefully awful analogies.
(Thanks to Matt for the link.)